The New Jewish Wedding, Revised

THIS IS THE BOOK! I have directed everyone who has asked to read it, cover to cover (if time permits) for its excellent guidance through the religious aspects of wedding planning.

When I recently relinquished my dog-eared and tabbed copy to another bride to be, I was amazed at how much of the information I found relevant/meaningful enough to "tab" for inclusion in our wedding disscussions/ceremony/program. The whole first section "Making the Tradition Your Own" really got me off on the right foot. My fiance converted about a year ago, and it was really important to both of us that the wedding speak not only to us, but to our non-Jewish family members and friends. This book really deals with these issues in a modern, egalitarian way.

A good deal of the text from our wedding program was culled from this book. It is clear and concise, without being preachy or didactic. It speaks to the beauty of the Jewish wedding traditions without making one or the other better.

In addition, this book does not discount the groom's role in crafting the wedding of HIS dreams! So many other wedding guides are filled with frilly verse and discussions of dresses and flowers. This one gives you the information you need so that you, your spouse, and your guests will remember the ceremony, not just the weather and the "franks in blanks!"

Whatever book you choose, and whatever you decide, I wish you ease of planning, and a day in which you are surrounded by the love of your family and friends! Mazel tov to all brides and grooms to be!

This book seems to have been written for Conservative and Reform Jews who may not be aware of all of the elements of a Jewish wedding. However, even if you are more traditional in your beliefs, you might appreciate this book as a resource for ideas.

Another, unrelated, point - Anita Diamant speaks not only to the bride, but also to the groom. She does not take us for granted, men. The only drawback of this book - and this is a minor point - is that it was written fifteen years ago, making some of the resources out of date. Do not let that stop you from purchasing the book - most of the information it contains is timeless.

Not only did my sister-in-law give us a copy when we announced our engagement, but our rabbi made it compulsory reading. My love and I are both grateful that they did. If you only buy one book, this should be the one. Mazel Tov.

I was especially gratified with the inclusion of information related to including non-Jewish family, as my husband is a convert to Judaism. Other Jewish resources, I have read only deal with problems in an interfaith marriage. The book was also helpful in equalizing the differences in Jewish knowledge of my daughter and her fiance.

For example, the author could have included an actual outline of the Jewish ceremony from Kabbalat Panim through Yichud. Instead, she peppers the book with references to all these things, leaving the reader to wonder how it all falls into place. The Jewish wedding ritual has an order and a rhythm to it, so there's no reason for her NOT to have described it all in order - except, perhaps, that she wanted to fill out the book!

To get the most out of A New Jewish Wedding, you should have some prior knowledge. So order the book, and while you're waiting for it to arrive, do some of your own research on the 'net. (Aish.com's "Guide to the Jewish Wedding" is a pretty good place to start...

The richness and meaning of Jewish wedding customs and rituals is enhanced immeasurably when couples understand why they are included in their celebration and ceremony -- and not just because "it's tradition!" Once they read "The New Jewish Wedding," couples have a much better understanding of the historical perspective of the rituals, helping in decision making about which rituals to include and what form they should take. They also have nuts and bolts information about everything from how to choose a rabbi, caterer, musicians, and location to seeking a personalized and artistic Jewish invitation and "ketuba." The dilemmas of mixed marriages and gay/lesbian ceremonies are handled with sensitivity, designed to help couples and their families approach complex issues.

Poignant stories share how previously married couples enhanced various rituals to personalize them. The detailed descriptions of the parts of the ceremony help couples know what to expect and to be more comfortable with the Jewish wedding tradition. Suggested readings and blessings provide those who want to give their ceremony their own personal twist with ideas for adding to the core elements. Anita clearly did her homework and interviewed many couples in order to provide a wide variety of possibilities to consider when planning a wedding.

My "ketuba" clients have all found "The New Jewish Wedding" to be extremely helpful in planning their special day and beyond, ever since the first edition came out in 1985. It is nice to know that times have changed sufficiently so the second edition could include some of the important information about sensitive issues that could not be addressed in the first edition.

As I said in the title, I read it once and since I kept telling my fiance little tidbits that I didn't know or things that were interesting, he asked to borrow the book. After his first reading he said that he wanted to review certain sections, highlight them and then pass this book onto his mother!

I really found Diamant's book to be greatly inspiring and full of explainations on what parts are necessary in a jewish ceremony and what parts are customs and why. She really appeals to a large audience because she does not assume you have to be orthodox to understand or take part in anything she discusses. This book has also inspired me to have a Friday night "Sabbath" dinner with close family before our wedding and integrate some rituals I didn't know about previously, like both mothers breaking a plate. (Read the book to find out what it means!)

And since I am having a long engagement, I am going to have to refresh my memory soon because when I read it I just remember saying out loud "Oh, that is so cool! I want that to happen during my ceremony too!"

BUY THIS BOOK! YOU WON'T REGRET IT!

I bought this book for my groom-to-be, and he LOVED it. He became a full partner in planning our wedding -- and he's someone who claimed to hate weddings (before ours). That alone is priceless!

Next I read it. Even though I've always been Jewish, I've only recently began to participate and study. I found it helpful in learning what's what. It gave me confidence to embrace and create an authentic Jewish wedding. Otherwise, I'm afraid I would have gone through the motions.

Anita sparked our imagination of how we could have a wedding steeped in tradition and still highly personal. It truly grounded us and liberated us. Our Jewish and non-Jewish friends LOVED our wedding. More importantly, WE LOVED OUR WEDDING. Thanks Anita.

PS We just bought "How to be a Jewish Parent" I guess that makes us groupies. I figure I can't have too much confidence and guidance when it comes to being a Jewish parent (maybe next year?!)

I was especially gratified with the inclusion of information related to including non-Jewish family, as my husband is a convert to Judaism. Other Jewish resources, I have read only deal with problems in an interfaith marriage. The book was also helpful in equalizing the differences in Jewish knowledge of my daughter and her fiance.

I particularly liked its clarity and organization. While other books bombard you with random Hebrew and Yiddish terms (sometimes translating them into English and leaving out the original language), this book takes time to explain them. It distinguishes which Jewish wedding practices are law and which are custom. It talks about both Ashkenazi and Sephardi traditions and makes it fairly clear which traditions are specific to one ethnicity and which are more universal. It addresses a number of mainstream American wedding practices (such as rehearsal dinners) that are NOT typically a part of Jewish weddings. And it educates in a way that makes me feel like I have a grip on the information, rather than throwing out pieces of information that make me go "Huh? What's up with that?"

There is a reason rabbis recommend this book. If you have any interest in learning about Jewish weddings, especially if you want to incorporate Yiddishkeit into your own wedding, this is the book to get.

It worked for us!