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Editorial Reviews
“No seriously, he’s not f**king around, you really don’t want to be a writer. But if you’re mad enough to decide that you do, Wendig will be your gonzo-esque guide, from the technical advice about structure, query letters and submissions, to dealing with agents and editors and how to make your characters do as they’re damn well told, he’s full of good advice. Like a cursing, booze-soaked Virgil to your Dante, let him show you around.
Buy this book, your editor will thank you.”
-- Jenni Hill, Editor, Solaris Books
Want to become a novelist? A screenwriter? An all-around freelance penmonkey? Don’t know the difference between beats, scenes, sequences and acts? Not sure where to begin your edit, or how to query an agent, or what liquor goes best with the madness of being a writer? Then CONFESSIONS OF A FREELANCE PENMONKEY is all yours.
CONFESSIONS is a collection of 50+ essays on the subject of writing and the writing life. It covers a wide array of subjects, from technical advice to discussions of publishing versus self-publishing to what to do if you wake up pantsless and ink-stained in the basement of a Tijuana bookstore.
Equal parts hilarious, insane, profane, and profound, CONFESSIONS will take you through the trials and tribulations of the penmonkey’s existence, offering advice every step of the way.
Features popular TERRIBLEMINDS essays:
…“Beware of Writer”
…“Drop That Pen, Grab A Hammer: Building The Writer’s Platform”
…”Exposing Yourself: Do You Write For Free?”
…“No, Seriously, I’m Not F**king Around, You Really Don’t Want To Be A Writer”
…“The Penmonkey’s Paean”
… “Why Your Novel Won’t Get Published”
…“Why You Won’t Finish That Novel”
And more!
(TERRIBLEMINDS has been named one of the top 101 websites for writers by WRITER’S DIGEST magazine!)
"Chuck Wendig has done what so many authors desperately need and will never admit: offered a phenomenal book about the real world of writing, and made it reachable and readable by anyone. An absolute must-read for anyone even thinking of dabbling with words for a living.”
-- Karina Cooper, author, Blood of the Wicked
"Chuck Wendig's Confessions of a Freelance Penmonkey is full of the kind of writing advice I wish I'd gotten in school. Practical, brutally honest, and done with the kind of humor that will make it stick in your brain. Whether you're a veteran writer or new to the craft, you'll find something useful in here.
Plus he says ‘f**k’ a lot, so, you know, there's that."
-- Stephen Blackmoore, author, City of the Dead
"In Confessions of a Freelance Penmonkey, Chuck Wendig hammers out writing and career advice that's always brave, profane, creative, clever, and honest. And don't forget hilarious. You'll never laugh so hard learning so much."
-- Matt Forbeck, game designer & author, Vegas Knights
“When a writer hits cynical, drunken, mother-hugging rock bottom, that's when they need Chuck Wendig's raw, no-holds barred advice. This is not for the faint of heart. But then again, neither is writing.”
-- Mur Lafferty, host of ISBW (I Should Be Writing), editor of Escape Pod, author of Playing For Keeps
"Despite being irreverent, vulgar, and funny, Chuck Wendig is also surprisingly profound. From one wordslinger about another, Chuck is the real deal and every prospective or working writer should read Confessions of a Freelance Penmonkey."
-- Jennifer Brozek, author, The Little Finance Book That Could
“If you want to be a better writer, or just want to be inspired by one of the best takes on writing I’ve ever read, do yourself a favor and buy Confessions.”
-- Daniel Ames, author, Feasting at the Table of the Damned
Buy this book, your editor will thank you.”
-- Jenni Hill, Editor, Solaris Books
Want to become a novelist? A screenwriter? An all-around freelance penmonkey? Don’t know the difference between beats, scenes, sequences and acts? Not sure where to begin your edit, or how to query an agent, or what liquor goes best with the madness of being a writer? Then CONFESSIONS OF A FREELANCE PENMONKEY is all yours.
CONFESSIONS is a collection of 50+ essays on the subject of writing and the writing life. It covers a wide array of subjects, from technical advice to discussions of publishing versus self-publishing to what to do if you wake up pantsless and ink-stained in the basement of a Tijuana bookstore.
Equal parts hilarious, insane, profane, and profound, CONFESSIONS will take you through the trials and tribulations of the penmonkey’s existence, offering advice every step of the way.
Features popular TERRIBLEMINDS essays:
…“Beware of Writer”
…“Drop That Pen, Grab A Hammer: Building The Writer’s Platform”
…”Exposing Yourself: Do You Write For Free?”
…“No, Seriously, I’m Not F**king Around, You Really Don’t Want To Be A Writer”
…“The Penmonkey’s Paean”
… “Why Your Novel Won’t Get Published”
…“Why You Won’t Finish That Novel”
And more!
(TERRIBLEMINDS has been named one of the top 101 websites for writers by WRITER’S DIGEST magazine!)
"Chuck Wendig has done what so many authors desperately need and will never admit: offered a phenomenal book about the real world of writing, and made it reachable and readable by anyone. An absolute must-read for anyone even thinking of dabbling with words for a living.”
-- Karina Cooper, author, Blood of the Wicked
"Chuck Wendig's Confessions of a Freelance Penmonkey is full of the kind of writing advice I wish I'd gotten in school. Practical, brutally honest, and done with the kind of humor that will make it stick in your brain. Whether you're a veteran writer or new to the craft, you'll find something useful in here.
Plus he says ‘f**k’ a lot, so, you know, there's that."
-- Stephen Blackmoore, author, City of the Dead
"In Confessions of a Freelance Penmonkey, Chuck Wendig hammers out writing and career advice that's always brave, profane, creative, clever, and honest. And don't forget hilarious. You'll never laugh so hard learning so much."
-- Matt Forbeck, game designer & author, Vegas Knights
“When a writer hits cynical, drunken, mother-hugging rock bottom, that's when they need Chuck Wendig's raw, no-holds barred advice. This is not for the faint of heart. But then again, neither is writing.”
-- Mur Lafferty, host of ISBW (I Should Be Writing), editor of Escape Pod, author of Playing For Keeps
"Despite being irreverent, vulgar, and funny, Chuck Wendig is also surprisingly profound. From one wordslinger about another, Chuck is the real deal and every prospective or working writer should read Confessions of a Freelance Penmonkey."
-- Jennifer Brozek, author, The Little Finance Book That Could
“If you want to be a better writer, or just want to be inspired by one of the best takes on writing I’ve ever read, do yourself a favor and buy Confessions.”
-- Daniel Ames, author, Feasting at the Table of the Damned
Related Reviews
Originally: (Unfortunately...meh.)
Mr. Wendig responded to my review and cleared some things up for me, negating all my observations but one (the copyediting) -- so in fairness to him, I raised my rating. (There is truly some awesome advice in this book.)
My original rating was two stars, and I thought of raising it to four, but it's not like my original impression was invalid or anything, so in the end I set it at three.
If you love terribleminds, there's a good chance you'll like this book. If you're new to Mr. Wendig's work, you'll find some good advice and some good laughs.
Below is my original review, for posterity.
---------------------------------------------------
Legions of proto-penmonkeys will track me down and murder my firstborn for this review. I've come to accept that.
If you want to support Mr. Wendig's freelance work, I'd wait until the next edition to buy this book.
1. There are a lot of copyediting errors: "it's" for "its", "laying" for "lying" (both of which are "wait, seriously?" errors for me, especially knowing the author's portfolio), other irritating flotsam and jetsam. Like, a double-handful of times.
Given the promotion on Wendig's blog: "Each essay is polished up and revamped, given a new coat of paint and in some cases, additional content," I'm wondering if by "polished up" and "a new coat of paint" he meant that he sat in front of the computer, spat on the screen, and wiped it with a dirty sleeve and then was like "OMGZ DUN!!!" and then had to buy a new monitor the next day because uhhh eggshell blue is not transparent, or something?
Yeah, I know he's just had a kid, and his sweet old dog died recently, but if it means you can't copyedit, then why release a book in the first place? Apparently his wife edits his self-published stuff. Okay, then. If she's umpteen months preggers, don't expect her to catch anything. Hire an editor to double-check. Wait, screw all that -- why hasn't Wendig internalized basic rules like the difference between "to lie" and "to lay" by now? It's not that hard.
2. I knew the book was a compilation of blog posts, but did it have to be a compilation of all the blog posts in which he does the exact same rant in different ways? I got the same lecture over and over and OVER and over, so I just sort of skimmed the last 75%. Even the subheadings within chapters were repetitive.
3. Where's the "Your Self-Published Book Sucks a Bag of Dicks" post? It's hella popular, and it wouldn't be hypocritical to include in the collection if he cleaned it up first. Perhaps it wouldn't be a good idea to risk the ire of self-published authors everywhere? But he already did that when he wrote the post, so I don't get it.
4. I lurk at terribleminds a lot. I'm familiar with the Wendig-rant. Kinda like it, actually. Sometimes it can get exhausting to read a string of what seems like effluvia from the malfunctioning amygdala of the internet, but yeah, it can be funny.
It's way less funny in the book, because all of a sudden patterns emerge. After the third time reading about parrot-slinging-monkey-pirates-riding-whiskey-drinking-slug-baby-monsters-from-the-universe-in-my-armpit-hair (or whatever) it dawned on me that the author re-uses the drawn-out clauses of not entirely randomized nouns and participle verbs that "flavor" his writing.
I'm not sure whether he keeps a list of particularly cool ones, or whether they set up camp in his brain and every so often belch their booze-ridden seduction in his ear, in which case he promptly jots the words down without realizing this is the fourth time he's used them. As should be obvious, I'm voting on the latter. It's not intentional laziness, then (as keeping a list to re-use would be) but once again, sloppy editing.
There's some great advice for aspiring authors in "Confessions", but they can get the majority of it by reading the terribleminds archives. This would be okay if the book followed the "Dr. Horrible" DVD example (awesome extras, well-produced, love of fans oozing from its pores). But it really doesn't.
I know (I hope) this book wasn't written to shirk loyal terribleminds readers, but sometimes that's what it feels like. I.e.: "these a-holes consume my wisdom for free at my blog (how dare they), so maybe they'll buy a half-assed compilation of the same material".
Whether malevolent or not, it's the same damned story fans are used to telling over and over: I am loyal to X, therefore X assumes that I'll stick with my fandom. Products made by X for fans will inevitably re-use old material and have crappy extras. Instead of catering to the fans, X caters to potential fans and assumes existing fans will stay loyal. Why not get a little lazy?
I'm just...disappointed. It makes me sad.
My original rating was two stars, and I thought of raising it to four, but it's not like my original impression was invalid or anything, so in the end I set it at three.
If you love terribleminds, there's a good chance you'll like this book. If you're new to Mr. Wendig's work, you'll find some good advice and some good laughs.
Below is my original review, for posterity.
---------------------------------------------------
Legions of proto-penmonkeys will track me down and murder my firstborn for this review. I've come to accept that.
If you want to support Mr. Wendig's freelance work, I'd wait until the next edition to buy this book.
1. There are a lot of copyediting errors: "it's" for "its", "laying" for "lying" (both of which are "wait, seriously?" errors for me, especially knowing the author's portfolio), other irritating flotsam and jetsam. Like, a double-handful of times.
Given the promotion on Wendig's blog: "Each essay is polished up and revamped, given a new coat of paint and in some cases, additional content," I'm wondering if by "polished up" and "a new coat of paint" he meant that he sat in front of the computer, spat on the screen, and wiped it with a dirty sleeve and then was like "OMGZ DUN!!!" and then had to buy a new monitor the next day because uhhh eggshell blue is not transparent, or something?
Yeah, I know he's just had a kid, and his sweet old dog died recently, but if it means you can't copyedit, then why release a book in the first place? Apparently his wife edits his self-published stuff. Okay, then. If she's umpteen months preggers, don't expect her to catch anything. Hire an editor to double-check. Wait, screw all that -- why hasn't Wendig internalized basic rules like the difference between "to lie" and "to lay" by now? It's not that hard.
2. I knew the book was a compilation of blog posts, but did it have to be a compilation of all the blog posts in which he does the exact same rant in different ways? I got the same lecture over and over and OVER and over, so I just sort of skimmed the last 75%. Even the subheadings within chapters were repetitive.
3. Where's the "Your Self-Published Book Sucks a Bag of Dicks" post? It's hella popular, and it wouldn't be hypocritical to include in the collection if he cleaned it up first. Perhaps it wouldn't be a good idea to risk the ire of self-published authors everywhere? But he already did that when he wrote the post, so I don't get it.
4. I lurk at terribleminds a lot. I'm familiar with the Wendig-rant. Kinda like it, actually. Sometimes it can get exhausting to read a string of what seems like effluvia from the malfunctioning amygdala of the internet, but yeah, it can be funny.
It's way less funny in the book, because all of a sudden patterns emerge. After the third time reading about parrot-slinging-monkey-pirates-riding-whiskey-drinking-slug-baby-monsters-from-the-universe-in-my-armpit-hair (or whatever) it dawned on me that the author re-uses the drawn-out clauses of not entirely randomized nouns and participle verbs that "flavor" his writing.
I'm not sure whether he keeps a list of particularly cool ones, or whether they set up camp in his brain and every so often belch their booze-ridden seduction in his ear, in which case he promptly jots the words down without realizing this is the fourth time he's used them. As should be obvious, I'm voting on the latter. It's not intentional laziness, then (as keeping a list to re-use would be) but once again, sloppy editing.
There's some great advice for aspiring authors in "Confessions", but they can get the majority of it by reading the terribleminds archives. This would be okay if the book followed the "Dr. Horrible" DVD example (awesome extras, well-produced, love of fans oozing from its pores). But it really doesn't.
I know (I hope) this book wasn't written to shirk loyal terribleminds readers, but sometimes that's what it feels like. I.e.: "these a-holes consume my wisdom for free at my blog (how dare they), so maybe they'll buy a half-assed compilation of the same material".
Whether malevolent or not, it's the same damned story fans are used to telling over and over: I am loyal to X, therefore X assumes that I'll stick with my fandom. Products made by X for fans will inevitably re-use old material and have crappy extras. Instead of catering to the fans, X caters to potential fans and assumes existing fans will stay loyal. Why not get a little lazy?
I'm just...disappointed. It makes me sad.
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I kid. I kid.
This is, in essence, TerribleMinds: the remix. Consider this the greatest hits collection of Chuck's writing advice throughout the years, with bonus content and post scripts on many of the articles. You'll see Chuck change his mind about NaNoWriMo, completely reverse his stance on ebooks, and expand on a lot of ideas he only glossed over the first time around. That alone is well worth the $5 price tag.
Bottom line - this is the most honest writing advice you'll come across. You won't agree with everything Chuck puts forward, and he doesn't expect you to. He doesn't approach his methods and musings as The One True Way to Write. Instead he'll give you lots of options to chew on, things to ponder, and a new way of looking at your craft.
Writers, this collection is a boon. Add it to your collection.